I tend to remember things that made me laugh so I think these are more laugh inducing then thought producing. I started with 22 quotes and narrowed to 13 and I can't choose any more to delete. I love all of these - It's John Green's fault, no other author got more than 1 quote - I used three from "The Fault in Our Stars".
- “If God gave him a second brain it would die of loneliness”- Brenda in One False Move by Harlan Coben
- “But the plans were on display..." "On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them." "That's the display department." "With a flashlight." "Ah, well, the lights had probably gone." "So had the stairs." "But, look, you found the notice, didn't you?" "Yes, yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard'.” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
- “Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head." - Eddie DeChooch, Stephanie Plum Series
- “I really am happy for Kiley. And for you and every other happily married lady. Except for that I'm not happy for you. I kind of want you all to drop dead.” – Beth in Attachments by Rainbow Rowell.
- “This Book is dedicated to the rule breakers, the troublemakers, and the revolutionaries. Sometimes the hand that feeds you needs a good bite.” – Dan Wells dedication in Partials
- “Your brain, Peekay, has two functions; it is a place for original thought, but also it is a reference library. Use it to tell you where to look, and then you will have for yourself all the brains that have ever been” - Doc in The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay
- “We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.” - Veronica Roth, Divergent
- “Emma, I'm sorry, I can't help you. This is a disaster. You're completely vulnerable. It's like going into battle in a nightie.” ― Sophie Kinsella, Can You Keep a Secret?
- “Don't be jealous of anyone. I guarantee you, if everyone walked into a room, and dumped their problems onto the floor, when they saw what everyone else's problems were, they'd be scrambling to get their own problems back before someone else got to them first.” ― Kim Gruenenfelder, A Total Waste of Makeup
- “I’ve had many enemies over the years. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s never engage in a fight you’re sure to lose. On the other hand, never let anyone who has insulted you get away with it. Bide your time and strike back when you’re in a position of strength—even if you no longer need to strike back.” ― Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
- “We are literally in the heart of Jesus," he said. "I thought we were in a church basement, but we are literaly in the heart of Jesus." "Someone should tell Jesus," I said. "I mean, it's gotta be dangerous, storing children with cancer in your heart." "I would tell Him myself," Augustus said, "but unfortunately I am literally stuck inside of His heart, so He won't be able to hear me.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
- “To be fair to Monica," I said, "what you did to her wasn't very nice either." "What'd I do to her?" he asked, defensive. "You know, going blind and everything." "But that's not my fault," Isaac said. "I'm not saying it was your fault. I'm saying it wasn't nice.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
- “My name is Hazel. Augustus Waters was the great star-crossed love of my life. Ours was an epic love story, and I won't be able to get more than a sentence into it without disappearing into a puddle of tears. Gus knew. Gus knows. I will not tell you our love story, because-like all real love stories-it will die with us, as it should. I'd hoped that he'd be eulogizing me, because there's no one I'd rather have...I can't talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a Bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
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